Wired Lady

Goodbye Braces Stuff!!!

2009-04-27T19:33:00.000-07:00

Waaaay Better Than Birthdays!

2009-04-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have to be honest, I tried not to think about the day I was scheduled to get my braces off because I really didn't think it was going to happen.

Oh and you know what, it almost didn't (soooo my life). So, on Thursday, Steve met me at the ortho for the 'big day' with his camcorder in hand...and we waited. They took the wires out...and then decided to put them back in! Back and forth...back and forth. Apparently, a bottom tooth moved and the doc was trying to force it back. Fiiinally, it was time...they took the top ones off first...than when the tooth on the bottom had moved -- they uninstalled the bottoms. I totally forgot how much getting your braces off hurt -- a lot of yanking that is not so very pleasant...at all.

But then...once they were off -- it was a magical day!!! Better than any birthday imaginable. I got this fantastic gift basket of goodies from the ortho's office -- including lots of gummy things...and a special framed certificate (that now hangs in my office) that says "Congrats Ortho Student you Have Graduated!!!"....

...sadly that bottle is non-alcoholic. Then I go to work...and I find out my parents sent me flowers!!!....

All day long people are saying " you look beautiful" and ya di da di da....they don't do THAT on your birthday!-- crazy!! And....people give Mike & Ikes and gummy Life Savers as gifts....sooo goood!!

And then lots and lots of celebrating!! Everyone wants to have a margarita with me!

If you still have your braces on...just you wait -- it's a day like no other -- I really had never thought about it -- but it was fantastic!!!

Thanks to everyone for your such kind words...it's an amazing feeling of being loved.

...Did I mention I was crying on the way to the ortho's office when I was going to get them off? What an emotional journey -- I couldn't believe I had survived. I was more emotional when I got my braces off than when I graduated from college...what a ride.

Meet the Wire-LESS Lady!

2009-04-23T11:27:00.001-07:00

More pictures later...promise!

The Final Night in Braces

2009-04-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

Prepare the Mexican Celebration!

2009-04-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

They are coming off on Thursday, April 23rd at 9:10 AM PDT.

Holy shiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!! Can you believe it?! I really can't.

Wait till I share the rubber band freakin' madness I have in my mouth till next week. 4 bands -- one mouth...it's not pretty. But who cares?!?!

What's 9 more days of rubber and metal?!?! Gosh that sounds dirty.

So Freakin' Close

2009-04-13T21:09:00.000-07:00

So, I was at the ortho on Thursday and really walked in with a can-do attitude.

The assistants asked the usual..."how are you?" but today instead of the usual "ooh fiiine," I replied "realllllly hoping for some gooood news!!!!" This method totally worked!

The doc comes over....checks and says...."The next time you're here...we'll take them off!!!!!!"

I almost peed in my pants!!!!

But....because this is MY life....

the doc proceeds to do a little 'detailing' and then says, "you know what...i really want to give it three more weeks."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT?"

Luckily I used the BF as an excuse -- and said..."you know I'm throwing a party of my boyfriend and oh gosh, ya know, it would be sooo swell if I could have them off before then...blah blah blah"

Soooo she says...ok --- instead of coming back in three weeks for a check-up, come back in a week.

Ooookkkk!!

So, I go to schedule an appointment at the front desk and all the receptionist has open is on Tuesday - soooo like 4 days later -- ha.

I wasn't going to pass that up! I said...yes! So, I am praying my teeth have moved since Thursday afternoon -- because I'm going there tomorrow morning.

More updates soon! Fingers crossed...

The Sad Donkey

2009-04-05T20:09:00.001-07:00

For some reason, the rubber band bag of bands I am currently using has a sad donkey on the side of it. I have a few thoughts on this...

Why would the manufacturers of ortho rubber bands decide a donkey, let alone a sad donkey, would be appropriate to put on the side of a bag?
Aren't donkeys known for their horrendous teeth?
Sort of ironic that this is my rubber band bag at this stage in the game.

Back at the ortho on Thursday.

Take a Guess at What This Means

2009-03-19T21:18:00.000-07:00

This lady will not be leaving anytime soon.

Tomorrow Could Be a Big Day

2009-03-18T21:11:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I'm back at the ortho's office. I don't want to get too excited but tomorrow could be the last check-up [insert scream!!!!].

Please, if you could just send me some happy braces-free vibes, I would oh-so-so appreciate it!

If I get good news...I will post immediately!!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

On an incredibly random side note: today in a sexual harassment training session, I asked in front of a room of people if like age, and sex and race...braces-harassment was also covered legally.

His answer was, no.
Braces lose again.

Let's Cement More Crap In My Mouth! Why Not?!

2009-02-16T21:06:00.000-08:00

I had a 9 AM this morning back at the ortho. As it turns out, I had a loose bracket. The other doctor was there - who I had never met. It was sort of weird, I felt suddenly like the unpopular girl...this doc should totally know me my now! Ha.

Any way....he was about to take the bracket out all together saying, "you're almost done, right?"

ME: "YES!"

HIM: "Let's leave it out. Bite for me...."

ME: [I bite...]

HIM: "Hmm...nevermind...let's re-cement it"

Ughhh burned again.

And by the way, every time I go to the ortho now, I always hear other people either scheduling an appointment to have their braces off...or getting their braces off. These are the dental gods punishing me.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of a Wired Lady

2009-02-15T22:22:00.001-08:00

I was back at the ortho's office on Thursday and feeling very optimistic about potential news. Here I am...looking happy and excited about the prospect of today hearing those magical words..."you're getting them off!"

Here I am, even happier, as most metal is removed and I get to...floss without wires!! Ooooh the nerd I am.

Then....here I am after leaving the appointment...

Not quite the look I am hoping for. As you can see, my braces are very much still on (actually, more metal was even added, I had no idea this was possible, but I stand corrected) -- and my rubber bands are in even more bizarre positions.

So bizarre....they had to draw me a little map....

I don't know if I should be more upset they had to give me a map because I still have bands or...if I should be mad because it took them almost two years to share with me the fact they even have maps. Hello!? Would have been helpful around month 18!

So, more metal, more bands...and more braces.

The only potentially good news was the doc did say...she thinks next time might be my last check-up. I wish I could believe her.

I go back tomorrow because the new lady who strapped the wires back on screwed up and cut one too short.

The real next check-up will be in about 3 weeks.

No braces coming out party planned yet.

Change Has Not Come

2009-01-21T21:25:00.000-08:00

While yesterday was indeed a historic day...

for the Wired Lady...no change has come. The ortho visit resulted in zero news!! Same old..."blah blah...yes, you look great!...blah blah...ok...see you in 3 weeks!"

Lovely.

What I do know -- they were happy to see I actually wore my rubber bands this time. My back teeth did drop (phew!) and I can't have any larger of a wire put in my mouth (I am at the limit -- they don't make 'em any thicker).

What I don't know -- what's next.

I swear, every time I go, she does a little tweak...a little shave of a tooth here and there...and that's it!

"You're close...you're close." -- yeah, whatever that means.

Lisa, the dental assistant offered as optimistic news as it can get...."I promise, you will get your braces off...sometime this year."

Thanks. I'm tempted to get Steelers colors put in.

A Historic Day

2009-01-19T19:09:00.000-08:00

Ooh that....and I have a check-up at the ortho's office tomorrow.
:)

Look Like Anyone?

2009-01-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

JAMES LORING BAER BLAGDEN

One of my co-workers sent this to me today. Not sure what I should make of it but either way, love the wired-tips from the office!

Thrilling Monday

2009-01-12T19:34:00.000-08:00

Hold onto your hats folks because today was craaaazy.

Guess what?! I went to Dr. Yamada's office and....picked up new rubber bands! How insane is that?!!!!

A day in the life of a Wired Lady. Jealous?
At least by bag doesn't quite look so much like crack anymore.
Trust me...my camera apparently sucks taking close-ups.

Crack Cocaine or Rubber Band Bag?

2009-01-08T21:42:00.000-08:00

So, I was walking to my car in the parking garage, after a long day at work, and as I pulled my rubber band bag from my purse (in every attempt to be 'good'), and all of a sudden realized...how freakin' shady this must look!

Just as I stopped myself from trying to pry open the damn thing (crappy plastic keeps riping - wish it was a Ziploc), some dude (also walking to his car) gave me their weirdest look.

I have to say, I deserved it. Pre-ortho round #2, if I saw someone holding a tiny white plastic pouch in a dark parking lot...I would pass judgement.

No, no need for A&E's "intervention" -- only my bicuspids to drop!

Fine, Look Hot Dakota...Just Keep Your Mouth Shut

2009-01-07T21:52:00.000-08:00

At first I was pissed that Dakota Fanning (as seen at tonight's People's Choice Awards) got her braces off...before me!!!!

Damn you Dakota, why do you have to look good? Why couldn't you have turned out like all the other awkward and ugly child actors who try to keep working?!

I want to remember Dakota, in a way I can relate to her...

But THEN...after trying to grab a closer look of tonight's appearance...I noticed...THIS...

Her teeth are so not straight! Where did the metal plates go?!

Phew...my self-esteem hasn't totally been shot to the ground...entirely...yet.

Wire-Free and Proud to Be --- My Favorite Holiday Photo

2009-01-06T22:13:00.000-08:00

This was a hilarious attempt by my father to take the yearly Cousins Christmas Photo. Say hello to Aunt Barbie...again!

Any photo where I have escaped a flash of metal, is one, you know...I gotta share.

What the Hell is This?!

2008-12-31T13:35:00.000-08:00

I'm home for the holiday at my parent's house and while digging through the old jewelry box found...THIS!

The question is...what the hell is it?

At first I thought it was a retainer, but at second glance...is it a mouth guard? I don't remember ever playing a sport that required a mouth guard. Swim team never required any dental protection.

But look how straight those chompers used to be!

Not and Never Will Be Under My Tree

2008-12-29T10:59:00.000-08:00

Retainer Necklace
$375
MCAChicagoStore.org

Too Much Food. Too Much Pain. (and I'm not talking about my pants)

2008-12-27T22:31:00.000-08:00

Yeah, totally ate too much...and I guess some pretty chewy stuff. Now, it's all about the Tylenol for the jaw. Hoping the buckeyes and perogi lasagna will take the pain away. Not really sure what's wrong but really reeallllly hoping it goes away soon. I keep blaming it on just sleeping on it weird.

Tomorrow the braces are making an appearance at the Steelers game...can't wait to freeze!

Hope everyone had a happy holiday!

Wired at the Airport

2008-12-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

Hi All -- I'm just waiting at the airport...

I made the mistake of having popcorn before I left -- and you know how this goes...2 hours after of continuing to find goodies in the wires.

Of course my flight was delayed. What else is new?

4 Bands. 1 Lady

2008-12-21T17:37:00.000-08:00

So, as you heard, Friday I was at the ortho. It went down pretty much as expected. I left with more metal in my mouth and no word on when they would ever be removed.

The doc's concerned because I kind of have the opposite problem I went in with. Now, all my front teeth touch beautifully but...not many of the back -- lovely.

So, the good news rolled on - now, I'm wearing four rubber bands. You can't see the two in the waaaaay back in this picture. But the two triangles in the front are definitely...there. And...strong as all hell.

In other good news, as the dental assistant put it, "The Mother of All Wires" was put in my mouth. Like -- there are no more after this...this is as heavy as it gets. The assistant also told me she didn't want to lie...this sucker is gonna hurt. And she was correct. My teeth haven't been numb like this since I first got the braces.

This was taken last night at the UCB Midnight Show. Please take note of the amount of grey in my mouth, compared to whitish-yellow. Any see any teeth? Not anymore, riiight?

Tonight I'm packing up the dental gear and getting ready to fly home tomorrow night.

Oh wait -- question....does anyone have a dental brand of tiny brushes they like to use in between their wires? The GUM ones I have suck -- I can't seem to find any strong ones. And yes, I did get seriously flak for hygiene at the appointment. So...yet again...I'm stepping up my game (errr...trying to).

Your Ortho is Looking Forward to Seeing You!

2008-12-18T21:47:00.000-08:00

This is the automated message I get the day before my ortho check-up.

Yup, that's right...tomorrow is the day. While I would like to create some sort of false hope that tomorrow I will find out when the braces come off -- the truth is, not gonna happen.

Instead, 6 more weeks of poeple asking, "When ARE you going to get your braces off???"

I don't knowwwwww! I never willllll.

(this post was written after two glasses of champagne and a box of crackers stuck in my wires)

Elementary School Kids Are Mean

2008-12-07T18:53:00.000-08:00

My boss's daughter came to work last week. I hadn't seen her in a while. Lots of poeple were standing around. The first thing out of her mouth, "HA! You still have BRACES!!!!"

Thanks, hun.

How do I recover from a 9 year old pointing at my face?

Happy Turkey Day!

2008-11-27T15:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving, Everyone!

Nothing beats a holiday with super-soft foods! Hellllooooo mashed potatoes!!

Clear Rite is ... Wrong

2008-11-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

Something about this irked me the wrong way. Anyone else feel the same?

Lady O on 60 Minutes

2008-11-16T20:52:00.000-08:00

I would never in a million years knock the soon-to-be First Lady but....

did anyone else notice -- her teeth on tonight's 60 Minutes?

Maybe it was the super close-up camera shot but...

Lady O. has (hate to say it) a little crowding on the bottom -- right?

She's beautiful, powerful, smart, and (an already) legend but...how much sweeter would she be if...she got braces?!?!?!?

OOOH man my dreams would come true! Finally the ultimate validation. :)

Soon to be Added to the 'Congratulations!' Board....

2008-11-11T22:49:00.000-08:00

NOT!!!!! So. Much.

This photo was faked in every effort to encourage optimistic thoughts. Today I was back at the ortho's (big surprise here, right?).

As usual, NO mention of when the wires will come off!

So, to everyone who keeps asking me..."When are you getting your braces off?" -- the answer is....NEVER!!!! (Gosh is this what it's like when people ask you, "When are you getting married? When are you having a baby? When are you having another baby? Etc.?????"

So, while no good news came from the appointment -- other than, back in 6 weeks, as opposed to the horrendous 10 weeks -- guess who made a cameo appearance?????.....

DR. RELLE!!!!!! (my oral surgeon, for those of you catching up)

Dr. Relle rocks!!! It was like family.

I think I was more excited to see Dr. Relle than I was when I saw Mary-Kate Olsen at sushi on Ventura.

Meet the 4:45 am wake-up call Wired Lady. Yes, this is the Wired Lady who doesn't update her blog as much as she used to because of ... exhaustion. See photo below.
The plus side -- this my favorite part of every visit -- when they take off the wires and I can pretend to be wired-free. Look how purtyyyyy!!! ...almost.

O!-braces

2008-11-08T19:09:00.000-08:00

THE MAN & ME

Illegal pics I took to document my big VOTE. Yes, I was the third person in line at the polls and yes, it was 5:15 AM in the morning and yes the polls didn't open til 7 AM and yes...I have a problem. I was up...what could I say?!...Slightly excited.

Please take note of the STICKER!...if the braces don't distract you too much.

Goodbye Betty!

2008-11-02T19:53:00.001-08:00

Saturday was a momentous occasion -- the Ugly Betty poncho/costume was donated to...The Salvation Army.

RIP Braces Costume

I am optimistic, I will not need you at this time next year (god freakin' willing)

All Hallow's Eve

2008-10-30T21:28:00.001-07:00

To wear the poncho or not? This is the question...

As many of you will remember, THIS happened to me last year when I wore my authentic "Ugly Betty" poncho to work.

Others may remember, the full wardrobe, HERE.

This year, what to do? That damn poncho cost serious dollars. I gotta get my moneys worth while it lasts, right?!

Tomorrow is the all-incredibly awkard "Dress Up for Halloween" at work. Always a real treat. :)

1 Intern. 2 Apples.

2008-10-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

Meet Christine, braced-intern #2!! She's fantastic! (And I'm not just saying that because she's wired -- promise!)

Weird craving today for an apple -- all of a sudden, Stan, the video editing super star walked by with a bag of apples (looking like he just went to the orchard or something). Completely random! Sooo we each scored an apple! Cool! Right? Wrong...

Remembering our handicap....What's a wired girl to do?!?!

Well, Intern Christine was like...."Aww no, I'll bring this home and eat it when I have a knife.

Wired Lady was like..."F-THAT! I'm going in!"

I used to be like that...careful and whatever. After 1.5 years of metal...I...JUST EAT!

The Wire-licious and Beautiful People

2008-10-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

Wired intern Danielle gets Rod the I.T. Guy's help to set up her computer. Me? Who else would deem this a total photo op????

I Suck

2008-10-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

Yes, I suck. It has been almost a week since my last post. But...I swear I have great excuses! #1 I moved. #2 No internet connection at new place #3 New website launched at work. Crazy, right?!

So, lets pretend no time has passes and let's just pick up from last week.

As you will see only one post below, I went to the dentist. This was not a happy experience. Not only did my gums bleed from horror, trauma and fear but...it was also announced I have cavities they want to wait to fill till my braces are off (sooo probably around 2012).

This was taken after stepping out of the dentist's office....
Pretty Wired Lady, right?

Let's just say, it was a brutal visit.

"Not So Bad"

2008-10-20T20:58:00.000-07:00

The words of the Doc post-cleaning on Saturday....

"For all you've been through...really, they aren't THAT bad."

Um...mind you...she said this after my gums were bleeding for an hour.

Yeah - not the best time.

Also - blame Steve the BF. I have a survival photo to share -- but Steve borrowed my camera and left me with the cord. So, I can't get to them!

The camera swap is happening tomorrow -- look for it!

Good Luck With That, Lady!

2008-10-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning I have an appointment for a cleaning. As the workaholic I am, you know I LOVE that I can go to the dentist on a Saturday -- riiight?!

Ok. So, with this mouth of metal and fancy bands and junks...all I can say to that poor lady who will be digging into this mess is...

Good LUCK!! Damn...she's got her work cut out for her! Hell, hope she's a morning person!

And not to be 'sexist' -- but I just have never had a male at Dr. Nancy's -- but that's cool too.

Oh and...this is how great of a girlfriend I am..."Hey, Steve...on Saturday morning, think you can drop me off at Firestone to get my oil changed, and then drop me off at the dentist?" His response..."Wow. Hot."

Braces DENIED from Fashion Week!

2008-10-12T19:47:00.000-07:00

Wellllll.....kind of....

Braces denied affffter late and went to the wrong location.

Sooooooo COMPLETELY the story of my life! HA. We had to laugh at the situation anyway...

This is my pseduo-attempt at a fashionable/artsy shot...or just didn't use a flash...

Lesson learned - get the address & be early to a fashion show.

Oh and...don't show up Ugly Betty-style.

Aunt Barbie: The Braces News Reporter

2008-10-11T17:32:00.001-07:00

News received from the family AP wire --- email from my Aunt Barbie...

"Hey Steph, been thinking about you lately and I was at a meeting at work today and I noticed that a 60 year old nurse and a 40 year old guy had braces so you are not the oldest one in the world to have braces. I was telling them a little about your situation since the topic of conversation was BRACES."

Sooo...not sure...is this 'good' news? Oh. My. Life.

Wires for Credit!

2008-10-07T22:09:00.000-07:00

We have a new intern at work...

Her name is Christine. Christine is smart. Christine is hard-working. Christine is energetic. Did I mention...Christine also has braces?

Favoritism by the Wired Lady? Never!

Hey, I only hire the interns...

Braces Help in Getting Apartment!

2008-10-06T19:26:00.001-07:00

As of Nov. 1, the new home of Wired Lady!

Woo hoo!

Braces Helpful in Finding Apartments?

2008-10-04T18:38:00.000-07:00

Today Steve and I went on the hunt for an apartment. Yes, big news in the Wired Lady world -- movin' in with the BF. Yup, that's me, the Wired Lady who will be livin' in sin but ya know what, the truth is, I'm stick of living out of my car and packing bags every night so...it's time to...(cough cough) commit - oh and I really want to live with Steve. Any who....

Sooo anyway -- as luck would have it...the FIRST place we saw today...we LOVED!

AND...the landlord was so sweet! Complete luck, right?

Well, we turned in our applications and now we wait to see if the WL credit line is a 'yay' or a 'nay.'

No surprise here -- the landlord totally took note of my braces and asked when I'm getting them off. What?! Does everyone in this world have to ask me this question?!

Will braces help in the 'nice' factor of the application process. How could a poor and innocent Wired Lady possible be a bad tenant, riiiiight?!

Please, No More Drugs...

2008-10-01T19:34:00.000-07:00

How is it that the meds the urgent care doctor gave me for the flu were stronger than any meds I got from jaw surgery? Seriously. I have never gotten more sick from antibiotics -- till this week.

So, after the lovely post with Daddy Wired Lady, the medicine kicked in and literally...I was out! Like...could not stand up -- the world is spinning -- I am high as a kite -- no way I can drive to work, stoned. It was CRAZY!

While the doctor insisted on me taking all 10 days of pills -- I had to call yesterday and beg to stop at 5.

So, while I did get to go back to work today...I am still waiting to see the lovely reaction to the pills being haulted. Fun. Fun. Fun. Is it me or is everyone sick with the flu all of a sudden?

Oh -- and sorry about not getting a chance to share Mamma Wired Lady...but she did make a cameo in the surgery video back in March. You have to watch closely.

The Father of the Wired Lady

2008-09-26T17:28:00.001-07:00

Welcome Wireless Parents!

2008-09-25T20:44:00.000-07:00

The parents are in town and you know what that means...the dreaded question, "So...when are you getting your braces off??

They have only been here for approximately 24 hours and I have already gotten the question at least twice.

"You said you were hoping for Christmas, is that going to happen?"

As if the third tequila shot didn't answer this questions...

"No, Mother. Not so much. Get ready for me, yet again, destroying the family Christmas card."

This is NOT for Beautification

2008-09-23T19:21:00.000-07:00

What I hate...when people automatically think I have braces to "beautiful my life."

Are you kidding me?! No way would I strap the metal cages on my mouth for 1.5 years (and counting, ugh) for...'beauty.'

Um no...the braces were only an 'accessory' to the major overhaul called jaw surgery, as to prevent a life of pain and misery.

Just had to get that off my chest! Thanks.

I get my hair done to beautify. I put makeup to beautify. I have a rubber band binding one side of my mouth to...well, lose friends.

ps -- why the one side?! really not so sure. apparently one tooth is too high...blah.

WTF?!

2008-09-21T10:37:00.000-07:00

The result of my ortho appointment on Tuesday.

All I can say is....

Oh.

Hell.

No.

Upon demanding clarification from the dental assistant I said, "The doc said just at nighttime, right?

DA: "If she wanted it only at night, she would have said."

WL: "Oh. No. I demand confirmation on this."

DA: "Ok." [Goes to ask]

Doctor: "I am only trying to help you get these off sooner than later. I want you wearing all the time."

WL: "Kill me now."

Help! Deep Cleaning Tips Needed

2008-09-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

Ok...so as many times as I tell myself (on the blog) I will do better with my flossing, brushing, over-hauling, etc....I have not been good.

And now I realized, (eeek!), I have an ortho appointment on Tuesday. Normally, I would be highly excited about this. However, this time...not so much. I am freaking because the teeth are looking (I will say it)...nasty. I will 'come clean' -- no pun intended.

Sooooo, anyone have any last-minute-before-the-ortho cleaning tips? The Listerine is not kickin' it as well as it used to.

Help!

Rice is Evil

2008-09-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

For lunch today I was treated to sushi.

I love sushi but sushi does not love me.

I hereby declare -- wires against white rice!

Beware. Tastes so good but looks so bad.

No amount of water refills was going to save this socially awkward situation

Ortho Blogger To Represent!

2008-09-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

I'm pumped to announce I will be heading back to Blog World this year -- for work, of course -- but REALLY to represent the ortho bloggers!!! Holla with ya braces!

Anyone else planning to attend? Hello ortho cocktail hour!?! Ha. (really not kidding)

Happiness is...

2008-09-08T21:19:00.001-07:00

...realizing you have a scheduled ortho appointment...next week!!!

How crazy is that?! I swear I thought I was 3 months away from the next check-in. Geez, the summer goes by fast...damn.

But...it's ok. Ok for me.

Lets start the positive thinking NOW. Braces will come off soon. Braces will come off soon. Braces will come off soon.

F The Secret -- like this works. Prove it, Oprah.

Braces Don't Stop the Fun

2008-09-07T18:49:00.000-07:00

The Bobcat Shuffle was survived! Sadly, even with braces, I wasn't even carded ONCE. What the heck is that about?! How freakin' old am I lookin' these days?! (don't answer that)

Two braces-related comments...

Person: "Oh. I thought I saw a pictures with you without your braces. "
Wired Lady: "Nope. Sorry. They're still here. Must have been a false pic."

Other Person: "When are you getting your braes off?"
Wired Lady Only 3 Drinks In: "Don't ask. It's a sore subject."

Tomorrow kicks off the detox plan and the Better Care for Braces Fall '08 Campaign.

Braces + Bobcats + Beer = Happiness

2008-09-05T18:33:00.000-07:00

Worrying all year about jaws and surgeries and insurance bills, I have to say...I never thought I would make it to this weekend -- this...my favorite weekend allllll year long!!!

That's right, the Ohio U Bobcat Shuffle!!!! For those of you responsible enough to not know what a 'shuffle' is....meet The Magical Bar Crawl! Hello Wired Lady Trying to Pretend Like She's Still in College :)

Last year's 'happiness' looked like this.

The good news is...last year I spent the day explaining why I was suddenly rockin' a 13-year-old wired 'look,' tomorrow I won't have to deal with that! People already know I have braces AND the pepple who notice my face looks a little 'different' will just blame it on the booze.

Hooray for alcohol!

O-H-I-O....go braces! Can you tell I'm happy it's Friday?

My Review of the New '90210' ...

2008-09-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

Really.

Nice.

Teeth.

'Annie Wilson' or 'The New Brenda' wins with #1 choppers...This dude thinks so too!

Discovered: Braces Fetish in Checkout #4

2008-08-30T22:52:00.000-07:00

Kind of creepy when an enjoyable swing through Target ends with a creepy check-out dude repeating the phrase, "Keep smiling."

Literally, the kid checks my ID (thank you box of wine I couldn't put down), and starts telling me how much he loves my smile and how cool he thinks it is when girls "my age" (what the hell does that mean, Sport?!) have braces.

Kind of weird. Or...a lot of weird.

I grabbed my box of wine, Speedo goggles (thank you Michael Phelps for false hope), and Halloween greeting cards (what can I say? sometimes you just need to buy something) and hit the road.

Wild and crazy Saturday night, right?

Have Braces? Want an Internship?

2008-08-26T22:29:00.000-07:00

The recruiting process for fall interns has kicked off! And guess who's spearheading this effort?? You guessed it...WIRES.

If you were interviewing for an internship, would you think it's weird the pseudo - 'boss' has braces?

Yeah, definitely, thought so too. But...I love it...and I'm rollin' with it!

The first 'potential' who walks in the door with braces...wins!

Oooh yeah, I am an equal opportunity (WIRED) employer! :)

Wired Lady...Makin' a Difference

2008-08-25T21:27:00.000-07:00

After Michelle's speech tonight (and yes, I will admit, I was getting a little misty-eyed), I get an email from my sister that reads...

"Mom is making you get a Barack t-shirt. Which one do you want? Email me asap."

Hmmmm...ok...so, here's the one I want...

sunday night - wired lady

2008-08-24T19:54:00.001-07:00

Ew. Seriously. Gross.

2008-08-22T19:07:00.000-07:00

Soooo you learn something new every day, right? Wellllll today I learned when searching Google Images for 'braces' Wired Lady (me, myself, & I) show up on the page 2. Cool, right?

Um...no, not cool. Why? Ooooh because I show up directly under a naked woman with a rubber mechanical 'tool' (so-to-speak) in her hand!!!!

Chalk that up to another act of daily making my mother proud...

I will vote for the president who implements a new crack down on people with braces fetishes. That's a high priority in this country, right?

Yeah? So, What if I am Eating THAT?

2008-08-21T22:31:00.001-07:00

Unnamed Co-Worker Who Sits Strangely Close to Me:
"Wow. I'm surprised you eat popcorn with braces."

Wired Lady:
"Yeah. I got over than about 1.5 years ago. I make it all work."

You Look Different

2008-08-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

Tonight I treated myself to spicy vegetable soup and pad Thai from my favorite 'B' - rated Thai restaurant, Piriya. I hadn't been since surgery and on top of that, haven't even ordered for lunch delivery at work. I knew I was walking into a battle zone -- as the owner, no matter how often I order, always gives me crap for not ordering enough.

So, I walk in and the owner, says ..."You look different." After 13 hours at work, I didn't feel up to playing the "Let Me Explain My Bizarre Dental Scenario Game." So, I played dumb. "What?! Ohhh? I just look really tired -- that must be it."

Her response. "No, no ... you look really different. AH! I know -- you are ... taller!"

We chalked it up to the Kors heels and said our goodbyes.

Sometimes people are worth the investment of time and energy to explain why one would have her mouth wired shut -- and some ... no matter how good their shrimp and noodles are ... are not.

Pick your dental-explanatory battles wisely.

Braces Prejudice in Avatar World

2008-08-18T21:38:00.001-07:00

UNCOOL ALERT!!! -- Wired Lady can't find an avatar-making site that caters to wired-individuals!!! This is the closest I could get, using the new generator....Face Your Manga

WTF!?

Quick EXTREME happy note -- I actually received a check today from...the oral surgeon's office! Yah...I know...not a bill...but actual money back!! Celebrate. Good. Times....HELLZ YEAH!

Meet My Hero

2008-08-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

Wish I had thought of it.
Special thanks to Laura for brightening the Wired Lady's day.

Dinner Party Fancy Lady

2008-08-16T11:26:00.000-07:00

Last night friends Alex and Will (the next stars of the new untitled lifestyle/cooking web show), invited me over for a BEYOND-fantastic dinner party at their new, hot, trendy, BEAUTIFUL downtown loft. Yes, that's right...loft living -- helloooo, how freakin' cool is that?! Totally jealous.

Dinner was delicious and all food options, I must say, were highly wired-friendly!

With wires, it's not too often I actually feel like an 'adult' -- so, playing 'grown-up' last night was beyond fun! Thanks to Alex and Will!

Wired Expertise

2008-08-15T18:17:00.000-07:00

I wear glasses, I have braces, I enjoy coffee and the internet -- yup, you could classify me as "wired."

With so much expertise, of COURSE I was asked to 'consult' on Steve's (the BF) BIG decision to get ... new ... glasses!!!!!! You can image my sheer excitement as Steve's old glasses resembled this guy's....

Now, look at the new Wired Guy....

... although, regularly known as the Nerd with Words

Order a Hamburger Instead!

2008-08-14T23:13:00.000-07:00

While spinach salads seem like a good call at the lunch gathering -- stay away!

Wired Lady experienced this firsthand today. I enjoyed a fantastic lunch with a fantastic new friend -- MINUS the mistake of ordering this healthy-'lunchable.' As a Wired Lady with over a year and a half experience, any food that causes one to constantly question where it has landed in the wires, is a baaaaad lunch call. So, learn from my mistake -- for lunch, order a hamburger and fries instead. Forget the calorie count! Order crap and lunch with confidence!

How's that for a diet tip?

The After Effect

2008-08-13T22:18:00.000-07:00

Today, the day after the big ortho appointment, a few 'particularities' were remembered. Like ... maybe you should freakin' brush your teeth, Dirty Lady, after lunch?! -- toootally did.

Now, enjoying a lovely glass of Chard (as always ... hellooooo Classy Lady) and some tortilla chips, you can definitely say I'm NOT looking forward to the upcoming flossing session.

Hope you (somewhat) enjoy this blog because...it's not going anyway. Braces to exist in the WL's life ... forever... holla Yamada!

Not Quite the News I Wanted to Hear

2008-08-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

Action-packed day at the ortho's office ...

There was some teeth 'sawing' -- some wire 'adjusting' -- and MOST unfortunately, some bandage 'adding.' Yup, that's right. Now, on top of the 'bling' and 'decorations' of my current mouth, I can add to that list a rubber band 'power chain' ... across the front!!!! Gabby, the assistant, tried to calm me by insisting "it's clear" but ... this almost concerns me more -- um .... hello Diet Coke addiction?! That thing will be 100% nasty by 3 PM tomorrow. Won-der-ful!!!

In other news -- OOOOOOH the idea of my braces coming off before Christmas is .... "pushing it!" To clue everyone in ... because the braces were first put on in March of '07, the Doc technically believes her contract to me is until March of '08 (2 years - one year before, and one year after surgery). Sooooo to HER.....FEB. 29th would be GIVING!

Also --- look at this!!!!!

Welp, actually ... thanks to my somewhat lame camera zoom, you probably can't see this too well, but under 'ORAL HYGIENE' - there is a big, red 'X' marking "Missing a few places!"

Oh yes, Wired Lady --slapped on the wrist.

Sooooo none of these were given....

And instead, restocked with my favorite rubber bands -- which...

... are annoyingly EVERYWHERE -- that's right, in every crevice of my bathroom, car, bedroom, kitchen, etc!!!!!! I swear, I will be celebrating my unborn child's high school graduation and still finding these suckers.

Just Like Winning Gold!

2008-08-11T20:48:00.001-07:00

This is what I felt like today when I found out insurance paid...for everything!!!!!

Is "Free Fallin'" stuck in your head too? Totally Petty. Totally.

Hello Procrastination

2008-08-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

All weekend I was avoiding opening the scary envelopes from the doctor's office. Ugh. Not fun. So, totally, I am proud to say ... I opened the letters and ... I am still alive ... lol.

Mainly because, I told myself ... "Hey, can't do anything till tomorrow morning!" -- ie...calling insurance.

So, one more day of procrastination -- love weekends.

Ortho check-up on Tuesday afternoon. Please start to send good thoughts. Hoping for HAPPY news!!!

A Blast from the Past

2008-08-07T22:02:00.000-07:00

Infamous Lorna, the admin lady from Dr. Relle's office, called today. It's been a while since I heard from her. She left a message on my work phone and actually said, "Hi there. Not sure if you remember me but I work at Dr. Relle's office."

Whaaaat? Lorna?! Seriously?! Not sure if I would remember you? Um ... pretty sure I'll remember you on my death bed.

So ... nice to hear Lorna's voice. Not good to hear Lorna's voice when she tells be mother f-iiiiiing Blue Cross is refusing to paaaaaaaaaay.

Fan-freakin'-tastic. Let the battle begin ...

I am breathing. I am breathing. I am calm. How the hell do ya do a GD yoga breath again?! I knew I should have continued that after-work activity.

Morning Reflection

2008-08-07T06:27:00.001-07:00

Listerine rules so much more than Crest Pro Health -- riiiiight?

Crest is a little too nice for me. If I'm gonna sip, gargle and spit -- it's gonna have to have a little kick!

Have a great day to all!

Tweet Tweet the Wired Lady!

2008-08-06T18:51:00.000-07:00

Hellooooo Braces Community!! Who's on Twitter?! I need friends to follow! Help a girl out and link it up!

Please Forgive Me Father...For I Have Sinned

2008-08-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

Last night something HUGE happened in the life of Wired Lady -- I...ran...out of -- dental floss! No, REALLY! I never thought this could possibly happen --- as I have been bulk buying since the beginning of this ortho 'adventure' -- but it happened. Absolutely NONE anywhere in my bathroom. None at the bottom of my purse. Nada inch anywhere inside my many work totes...nothing!

What did this mean? How could I let such an embarassing mistake occur? This doesn't mean I have slacked on my ortho-behaviors, does it? Ahhhhh. Ummm...probably true.

Today - the ortho diet kicked back into shape. I went straight to Ralphs and bought the finest floss my fine Ralphs Card could get me a discount on. Hello Kroger non-name brand! Holla.

I'm back.

Sleepy Braced-Face Lady

2008-08-04T17:31:00.000-07:00

SUCH a fun weekend but wedding traveling and wedding dancing and wedding drinking and wedding explaining-my-post-surgery-braced-'situation'-is...exhausting. I am so out of it -- seriously. Can I take a week off to recover? Pretty please.

The G family wedding was GORGEOUS and it was so sweet of so many people to ask how I was feeling. The weird thing is -- it feels like my surgery in March was years and years ago. It's doesn't impact my life at all any more -- only that I have to explain why the braces are still on. That's about it. Oh. And the constant thought pattern of 'Where the hell is the bill gonna arrive?' -- every time I check my mailbox. Fun. Stuff.

Zzzzz.

Wires Take Off!

2008-07-31T18:23:00.000-07:00

No, unfortunately, not that type of 'taking off' (i wiiiish). Instead, I'm off to Columbus, O-H-I-O this weekend for the big G Family Wedding!!!! So. Cool. To. Be. Sporting. Braces. At. Family. Events. At. The. Age. Of. 26.

So sweeeeet (hello, Zach speak).

Earthquake, Shakes: Ortho Structure, Strong

2008-07-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

If it wasn't for my ortho and surrounding dental 'family' being in the Los Angeles area, I swear I would have fled home to the east coast yesterday after...the quake. Those close to me know I freak out at the smalled trembles, so, as you can imagine, the violent rattling of my 14-story office building was not taken well.

While I'm not packing to leave for good...I am packing tonight for the big Guerrieri family wedding in Columbus. Yes, that's right...another wedding...another mouthful of braces. While I never disclosed this secret, I was silently hopeful the wires may be off in time for this family appearance. Oh. How. Wrong. I. Was.

Better make sure I have enough travel-sized Listerine...

I Wish Miley Cyrus Had Braces

2008-07-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

Teen stars have all the luck - great clothes, great careers, great BIG paychecks and um....what's this?...no braces!! What the heck is that all about? I dunno about you guys but hello?!...false advertising perhaps?! Miley, you should YouTube battle on this topic.

Just a random thought for the day.

And future Disney sweetheart Selena Gomez, don't think I'm not talking about you too...

Can anyone tell I'm slightly sleep deprived at the moment? Ha.

Cheers to the CalPhil

2008-07-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

Last night friends enjoyed a lovely picnic and musical performance on the Cal Philharmonic Green! Such a good time!

Sorry the posts have been a little few and far between lately. To be honest, the life in braces has gotten a little...hate to say, dull. No major wired-issues lately. Just...you know...waiting it out. My next appointment isn't until August 12th - ugh.

Braces Back to Networking

2008-07-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

The braces made an appearance last night at the "Digital LA" gathering a the luxie Sky Bar. And by 'luxie' I mean, ridiculously expensive drinks for no freakin' reason. $12 for a glass of wine?! Are you kidding me. That's 6 bottles from Trader Joe's!

Anywhoooo....the braces were out in all their glory. And of course, many mingling comments were received from strangers....

the creepy guy who liked the braces
the close-talker who points and asks
the random, who comments on the strong handshake - as a surprise by fronting the braces

cool. just tryin' to make it work...

Braceless Batman

2008-07-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

Last night I was lucky enough to score my seat to "The Dark Knight."

Enjoyed the film but just one, tiny criticism....um....no braces!

No where in Gotham did I see a wired individual. What's up with that? Anyone out there -- correct me if I'm wrong...

A Fishy Anniversary All Around

2008-07-19T09:27:00.001-07:00

Last night Steve and I celebrated our made-up 'anniversary.' Yup, that's right. Blue Jam Cafe on Melrose is not just for breakfast anymore. Friday night BYOB dinner...um...yum!

I don't know about you all but I find that fish is the best option for post-surgery dining. Always soft -- always a good time. The secondary choice would be chicken, but last night's Halibut Special was definitely the way to go. While in this picture, my halibut is half eaten and sort of gross looking...I swear...it was delicious - just had to share...

Work Gatherings In Braces

2008-07-18T22:27:00.000-07:00

I was at a work gathering the other night and awkwardly, in conversation, my braces were mentioned. Is it weird that 1 year and 3 months into this little 'adventure,' I have absolutely no feeling toward wire-mentions. Like...I am highly 'over it.' By that I mean, I don't take offense...I just laugh about it.

I know they look like sheeeiit...so...can we all just pretend they dont exist and move on with our lives?

Pretty please.

Fine. Be that way. I gotta go brush now...

Post-Surgery Derm Appointment

2008-07-17T21:12:00.000-07:00

Soooooo you wouldn't think about your skin necessarily, when planning for jaw surgery. But -- you should.

Um...my skin seriously went through hell after my face expanded 10 sizes, then back to normal.

So, today I was back at the dermatologist for the first time. It had been a while. Literally, the dude was like..."Umm, yeah...we have our work cut out for us." Yah. I know. Thanks, Doc.

So, Save the Wired Lady's Skin is in full force! Really, every day I feel like I add a new doctor to my life. I have accumulated quite an 'entourage.'

Wired Lady Confession

2008-07-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

Ok. So. What if I sometimes clean the gunk out of my braces with the back end of my earring?!??!

I'll fess up. Anyone got a problem with it?

Well, perhaps you would, if you too were sitting in your car, at a red light, wondering what they hell was going on in the car next to you....

Wired in Sin City

2008-07-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

This weekend braces represented in VEGAS - big time!!! It was a fabulous weekend with my favorite girlfriends. Lots of fun, sun and some fantastic cocktails!

Wired Face All Ready for Vegas

2008-07-09T18:19:00.000-07:00

After a quick stop at the ortho's office today, good news -- I'm all nailed in...wires ready for Vegas take-off!!!!

For the record, the assistant who worked on my mouth said I was not imagining wires mysteriously moving. Apparently, some fancy-dancy wire holder was completely missing. So, hopefully, after sleeping on the side of my face tonight, 3 inches of metal jabbed into my facial tissue won't wake me.

And really, I think the ortho's office is really sick of seeing me.

"Hi! Me again, Wired Lady. Back for more! Can't stay away! What did I miss since yesterday?"
- my coolness state that is my life

Not a Blood Test...Only My Finger to the Wire

2008-07-08T22:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was proud I actually got my ass to aerobics. Let's just say...it's been a while.

The motivation...repeatedly hearing the boyfriend's voice in my head say, "Um...yeah...now that she can chew...she likes to chew...a lot." This is true. So true that...I gotta be honest, the jaw has been aching lately. Not a good sign. As much as I tell myself to take it easy... the snack vending machine calls my name.

Tomorrow...I'm back in the ortho chair for the big wire cutting. I just couldn't handle it any more. After my finger was bleeding today -- from puncturing it, trying to push the wire back -- in total frustration...I made the call.

Stupid Wire

2008-07-07T18:38:00.001-07:00

Poking into the side of my face...ugh!

Why couldn't I have remembered to have them put one of those fancy stoppers on?

I really don't want to have to go back there...but I have a big Vegas trip this weekend...and no amount of margarita is gonna numb this thing. :)

Am I the only one with such wire transport issues? The damn thing goes wherever it wants!

Lovely 4th Weekend

2008-07-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

So, Steve, Rose (our adoptive 27-year-old daughter/a bff) and I spent the weekend in Hermosa Beach. And I kid you not...everywhere I went...I was met with the constant reminder of ...BRACES!!! Our waiter at Cantina Real for Friday night Mexican fun...had braces. The walk to fireworks...the couple behind us was analyzing their mouths pre and post braces. WTF?! Why oh why?!?!?

noticed theme of 4th photos...the closed-mouth smile...for obvious reasons.

Guess What????........

2008-07-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

Nope....not so much.

Braces still on for at least 6 more weeks -- when my next appointment is. But there is good news...rubber bands only at night...that's kinda good news, right? Not at all the 'news' I was hoping for but...ya know...I'll take what I can get.

But thank you to EVERYONE for your positive thoughts. It...sort of worked.

Off to pack for the big beach 4th of July weekend...happy holiday weekend to you all!

Please Send Positive Braces Thoughts

2008-07-01T20:21:00.000-07:00

It's been a while but tomorrow morning I'm officially back in the ortho chair.

Please...please...send good karma....think one of the following thoughts tomorrow around 8:40 AM PST:
- Stephanie, your teeth are beautiful
- Stephanie, your teeth are straight
- Stephanie your teeth will look so great WITHOUT braces!

Preparing for the 4th...with Salt

2008-06-30T22:02:00.001-07:00

Um...really good question...why haven't I had CORN yet this summer season?????

If you remember from last year I was pumped about the corn zipper. And, acquired a few.

This summer...check out the corn STRIPPER! Love that.

Braces + Corn = accomplished

Wires Hit the Bowl

2008-06-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

...the HOLLYWOOD Bowl, that is...who do you think I am?!

Last night the OU Bobcats gathered. The picnic festivities, (yay for food!), was (of course) my fav. Except for an extreme mind slip -- oh yeah, thought I could tackle a carrot. Not so much, Wired Lady. Hoooold up. So, ok....I stuck to the hummus...and chips and....was just as happy. Silly me, thinking I should be healthy. Ha. :)

btw...
headband + bangs + braces = wired lady or 3rd grader?

My Apologies...

2008-06-28T16:10:00.000-07:00

My apologies for being lame lately....

you know the excuse...busy at work.

The good news is...my next 'official' ortho appointment is on Tuesday and you KNOW I will be pressing the 'time' question. As in...when (realistically) will these puppies be coming off????

I am ready!

A Taste of Home

2008-06-25T19:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I visited my little home away from home...the ortho's office. I was shocked they could take me right away -- yet another reason why I love them. Cool or pathetic? Most likely the latter.

So, the little surgical hook is back...and so are the bands (insert sarcastic 'hooray'). Everyone in the office seemed (oddly) happy to see me. The Doc went off about how great I looked...and proceeded not to tell me when they would be coming off. However, didn't stop all the dental assistants from asking when my little gems would be removed. Um....I dunno...you tell me...PLEASE!

I need to start planning my BRACES coming OUT party! Hello Ernie's Mexican Restaurant and their private room!

Man Down...

2008-06-23T21:04:00.000-07:00

So....no surprise here....after battling with the rubber bands...

Sooooo I got a little frustrated...and....WHOOPS!....the surgical hook (used to loop the band)...popped out.

I'm going to blame it on the poor installation job on the hook...you know..instead of admitting to my own lack of patience, extreme frustration, sheer irritation, etc.

:)

So, I gotta get to the ortho. Perhaps this was my backwards way of hoping for some ortho-lovin'. Being that my check-up isn't even till next week. I can't wait any longer!

Beautiful Teeth Envy

2008-06-19T23:16:00.000-07:00

=

JEALOUSY

As the days with braces continue...seemingly endlessly...and so my life...I find myself staring more and more at other people's perfect smiles/teeth/veneers/etc. So. Nice.

Today I took note of Mariam's gorgeous teeth and it turns out...not only did they look beautiful...she's in the process of clear braces!! So, she's got that glossy look going on. Niiiice.

I'm not gonna lie...the jealousy is running rampant.

Braces D-LITE!

2008-06-17T12:48:00.000-07:00

Braces have sat in some fun business meetings over the past few days, but it's time to return to the world that is the west coast. I miss sunshine.

My flight leaves tonight and gets in late. Let's hope I don't contract another fun disease on the way home. I am updating my blog in a Tasti-D-Lite...my little home away from home in NYC. You know my passion for yogurt. Ha. So nice to the braces...if only so nice to the waistline.

Bracing Myself for 26

2008-06-15T15:21:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to the Wired Lady! Yes, I am 26 today and...still in braces.

To make matters worse...thanks to my strep throat HIGH-IMPACT medicine, I can't drink for 10 DAYS!!! Lovely. To say the least. Not a good way to begin the 26th year of my life...I'd say. But...you know...I'm making it work.