I am a Wired Pimp

The dental gods are smiling down on me....

I arrived home today, after a long week at work, opened the mail (expecting fun insurance bills) and what do I find?? A $30 movie theater gift card and a hand-written thank you note from my very own orthodontist!

Why the special gift? Oh yes, totally referred Steph, my cubemate.

Just call me the Wired P-I-M-P! Holla!!!!

I feel like I should start a business -- Let me know if you're in need of braces or jaw surgery or really, even a cleaning...I'll refer you...and we'll split the profits!!!

I feel like an advertisement for an ING high-yield saving account.

That's right...it's ok to be jealous...and...at the same time...feel incredibly sorry for the state of my existence.

My Life Is So Bizarre

Today was a big day in the life of a wired lady.

This afternoon Steve and I hauled it over to Northridge for my big oral surgeon pre-op appointment. As promised, some video was taken. As (probably) expected, none of that video is ready to be posted. Thank you ambulances, firefighters and police cars on the way home.

As a little 'tease,' below is a list of fun facts I learned today:

• what Lorna (the insurance lady) looks like
• what it feels like to sign the biggest check I've ever written (...like crap)
• what vitamins you're suppose to take to reduce bruising and swelling (hello excitement!)
• what other patients talk about when they visit the oral surgeon's office (weird)
• what size my face is

Really? A Nice Medical Professional? For Me?

Today I called to schedule my blood donation pre-op appointment at the hospital.

I'm not going to blame it on 'that time of the month,' (although I have been known to get emotional during Dove commercials) but honestly, the kindness of David at the blood unit almost brought me to tears. The warmth, compassion, friendliness, lovingness, cheerfulness, sense of humor -- I could go on forever -- of this man....made be feel, quite frankly, all warm inside. He not only knew who I was when I called (a first in my medical life!) but the time he took to give parking instructions was immeasurable.

Some stickers read "Give Blood. Get a Hug." No way...stickers should read, "Schedule an appointment to give blood and you get a hell of a lot more than a hug -- you get a freakin' kiss to your soul."

While I am only donating one unit of blood for surgery, I wish I could give this man ten.

Think I'm a little 'sensitive ' today? Do I need to answer?

Tomorrow is a biggie -- back to the oral surgeon's office for a super-duper appointment. I'm expecting it to be an appointment with much info on pre-op, op, and post-op (totally getting the lingo down) instructions I have been dreading to hear. I am dragging Steve along...you know for emotional support and blah blah blah....but really, so he can videotape the entire thing. I'm sure it will be excellent entertainment.

The Car Air Freshener For Dental Enthusiasts

You may be familiar with cherry, vanilla and the ever-popular pine air freshener but perhaps you haven't experienced the LISTERINE car air freshener?

Literally, I jump in my car after work today and think to myself, "Wow. My car smells really nice. I rule."

Well, two hours later, when I'm unpacking my car I find THIS...

Yes, a practically-empty bottle of Listerine with the cap off, spilled and lying across my back seat (The pajamas were introduced when taking this pic later. As you can see at this point, I'm not dressin' up for you guys -- considering in a few weeks you'll see me at my 'best' - and by 'best' I mean...passed out, drooling, face wired-shut, etc.).

Besides my back seat drenched and stained....I am MOST upset about high-quality Listerine gone wasted!!!!
I just bought that bottle on Sunday.

Fan-freakin'-tastic.

My life rocks. Totally random but in my 'air freshener' research, I found my (way in the) future child's first Halloween costume.

Tooth Tunes to Change My Life

Is it me or is it extra hard to come back to work on a Monday following a four-day work week?
It may totally be me but I swear...Wired Lady had trouble in the motivation department today -- trouble being motivated UNTIL....I found THIS..........


If only I had known all along....what I've needed in my life is some MUSIC for my MOUTH!!!!!

Top 5 Songs Wired Lady Would Want to Rock Out While Brushing...

1. Kanye - Good Life featuring T-Pain
2. Chris Brown - Kiss Kiss featuring T-Pain (my BOY!)
3. Kanye - Touch the Sky
4. Cupid - Cupid Shuffle
5. Sara Bareilles - Love Song (a little more mello but good for the rinsing process)

While I am a sucker for some John Mayer - if you put Johnny Boy on my toothbrush, my braces may drive me to inhale high levels of anti-depression medication. I would prefer to force fake levels of extreme happiness while killing plaque and gingivitis.

Finding Lost Love At The Grocery Store

Watch out for THIS aisle in your local grocery store...

That's right, it's the special Easter aisle -- in all it's yummy, gummy, gooey glory. I swear, I was salivating for at least 2 minutes, stopped dead in my tracks. My eyes twinkled, my belly smiled and then...I was reminded of...lousy wires.

Oooooh how MUCH do I want some Starburst Jelly Beans (honestly, the BEST of all the beans) right now?! And hello, let's not forget about PEEPS!!

Awww man. It was not pretty rolling my grocery cart towards the Jello freezer section.

Big Night For Precious Metals

What's metal, shiny and expensive as all hell?
You guessed it!

AND