Send My Liver (& Wires) to Hudson

What can I say? The 2nd Annual OU Entertainment Group Alumni Bobcat Shuffle...met all of my expectations.

This is what happiness in braces looks like.


There was fun...


There were festivities...


And of course, there were nachos...someone else's nachos.

Really, the majority of the day was spent fielding questions like..."When did you get braces?", "How long have you had your braces on for?", and the stand-by..."You do know those braces turn me on...right?" Um...gross.

But not as gross as....

...freakin' ranch dressing spilled all over my foot!

For those of you who want a much more detailed recap (cough cough Jamie Kelly), just call all the usual suspects....collectively we may be able to do so.

Let's just say, 'The Game' was played.

Carbs Meet Braces

Tonight, a carb dinner in preparation for tomorrow's mind-blowingly awesome festivity - The Shuffle. To some, it is a procedure used to randomize a deck of playing cards. To those of us lucky enough to know the Burrito Buggy and Court Street, it means so much more.

Looking forward to my favorite flavor of toothpaste. Just hope I get home to experience it. A full re-cap (no pun intended) on Sunday.

Braces on the Road to Success?

Today at work there was a panel discussion for the 'Emerging Professionals,'...aka assistants (like me). All in all it was a great event (especially because my boss spoke and totally kicked ass), but there was one little comment made that I have to say, I didn't like so much.

Ok -- so, one of the women on the panel seemed timid. She wasn't speaking very loudly or forcefully, you could say not too much power was really 'emerging.'

Then, round two of question and answer and she says, "You'll have to forgive me. I'm talking quietly because I'm trying to hide my adult braces."

What?!!!! At first I was like...AWESOME! Not only an adult with braces but a highly SUCCESSFUL adult with braces (I totally wanted to take my pictures with her). But THEN I thought...hold up! That's kind of offensive. Why in the world would you change your speaking tone, especially in front of a huge audience, because of the wires? Should I be speaking more softly?! Whaaaaat? You could totally tell she was embarrassed of them, why else would she use self-deprecating humor to explain the situation (hello Wired Lady Blog?!)?

It was completely bizarre. For anyone out there with braces who is asked to speak in front of a large audience, please learn from this.

It doesn't matter what you look like...from row 3 I couldn't see a thing anyway.

Encountered: Wired Fetish/Zero Comedy

Who: Waiter/Wanna-Be Door Man
What: A Total Teen/Braced-Face Fetish (grosssssssss)
When: Tonight
Where: The Improv on Melrose
How: Creepy smiles and eye-contact directly solely at the wires...my wires

Only other wired fetish encounter...see blog entry
Gross Clubs

Wired & Delirious

After work, I ran to Best Buy to stand in line with my fellow braced-faced teenage friends to purchase...


HALO 3!!!! Wooo hooo! Finish the fight! Awesome! My life is complete. Um....

PSYCH!!

Instead, I spent my evening doing bicep curls with my HUGE-ass bottle of Listerine.



Some people are proud of their big cars, I am proud of my family-sized bottle of my favorite 24-hour antiseptic.


How cool am I?

My life has hit an all-time low.

Spotted: Four Eyes in a Cubicle

Due to the fact that I'm still trying to kick this little sinus/cold thing (thanks to my dentist), I wore my glasses to work today. My eyes always burn when I'm sick. Am I the only one? Anyway, despite the fact that I felt like crap, oddly enough, I received quite a few compliments regarding my glasses. Interesting....right?

True story --
Nameless Co-Worker: I love your glasses!
Wired Lady: Thanks!
Nameless Co-Worker: You should wear your glasses more often!
Wired Lady: Really? Maybe I should?!
Nameless Co-Worker: You really should. You've got that sexy secretary thing going on.
Wired Lady: (insert awkward chuckle)
Nameless Co-Worker: Oh! Well, thinking back on it, I guess when I had braces I always hated wearing my glasses too.
Wired Lady: (insert extreme facial expression illustrating shock about this never-thought-before realization)

Damn. Now I will never wear glasses again.
And if you are reading this Nameless Co-Worker, thank you for giving me a story.

Wires Anti-oxidents

This morning I mingled with the all-natural, holistic super-humans at the Health & Wellness Expo/Yoga Walk. With my Coach leather bag in hand, you can imagine how well I blended in. But nonetheless, I took full advantage of the healthy amenities.

A crazy woman with dreadlocks rubbed cocoa butter on my hands, a hippie offered to digitally read my aura for $40, and I was introduced to 'the French woman's health secret'...

...water.

Among other things, I learned when rocking out with braces....

vs.

The Lara Bar wins for softness.


And MOST IMPORTANTLY...stay the hell away from 'GOJI BERRIES.'

This should not be hard to do.
Let's just say, Wired Lady experience was a minor trauma at the Real Tibetan Goji Berry booth.