Discovered: Braces Fetish in Checkout #4

Kind of creepy when an enjoyable swing through Target ends with a creepy check-out dude repeating the phrase, "Keep smiling."

Literally, the kid checks my ID (thank you box of wine I couldn't put down), and starts telling me how much he loves my smile and how cool he thinks it is when girls "my age" (what the hell does that mean, Sport?!) have braces.

Kind of weird. Or...a lot of weird.

I grabbed my box of wine, Speedo goggles (thank you Michael Phelps for false hope), and Halloween greeting cards (what can I say? sometimes you just need to buy something) and hit the road.

Wild and crazy Saturday night, right?

Have Braces? Want an Internship?

The recruiting process for fall interns has kicked off! And guess who's spearheading this effort?? You guessed it...WIRES.

If you were interviewing for an internship, would you think it's weird the pseudo - 'boss' has braces?

Yeah, definitely, thought so too. But...I love it...and I'm rollin' with it!

The first 'potential' who walks in the door with braces...wins!

Oooh yeah, I am an equal opportunity (WIRED) employer! :)

Wired Lady...Makin' a Difference

After Michelle's speech tonight (and yes, I will admit, I was getting a little misty-eyed), I get an email from my sister that reads...

"Mom is making you get a Barack t-shirt. Which one do you want? Email me asap."

Hmmmm...ok...so, here's the one I want...

sunday night - wired lady

Ew. Seriously. Gross.

Soooo you learn something new every day, right? Wellllll today I learned when searching Google Images for 'braces' Wired Lady (me, myself, & I) show up on the page 2. Cool, right?

Um...no, not cool. Why? Ooooh because I show up directly under a naked woman with a rubber mechanical 'tool' (so-to-speak) in her hand!!!!

Chalk that up to another act of daily making my mother proud...

I will vote for the president who implements a new crack down on people with braces fetishes. That's a high priority in this country, right?

Yeah? So, What if I am Eating THAT?

Unnamed Co-Worker Who Sits Strangely Close to Me:
"Wow. I'm surprised you eat popcorn with braces."

Wired Lady:
"Yeah. I got over than about 1.5 years ago. I make it all work."

You Look Different

Tonight I treated myself to spicy vegetable soup and pad Thai from my favorite 'B' - rated Thai restaurant, Piriya. I hadn't been since surgery and on top of that, haven't even ordered for lunch delivery at work. I knew I was walking into a battle zone -- as the owner, no matter how often I order, always gives me crap for not ordering enough.

So, I walk in and the owner, says ..."You look different." After 13 hours at work, I didn't feel up to playing the "Let Me Explain My Bizarre Dental Scenario Game." So, I played dumb. "What?! Ohhh? I just look really tired -- that must be it."

Her response. "No, no ... you look really different. AH! I know -- you are ... taller!"

We chalked it up to the Kors heels and said our goodbyes.

Sometimes people are worth the investment of time and energy to explain why one would have her mouth wired shut -- and some ... no matter how good their shrimp and noodles are ... are not.

Pick your dental-explanatory battles wisely.

Braces Prejudice in Avatar World

UNCOOL ALERT!!! -- Wired Lady can't find an avatar-making site that caters to wired-individuals!!! This is the closest I could get, using the new generator....Face Your Manga

WTF!?

Quick EXTREME happy note -- I actually received a check today from...the oral surgeon's office! Yah...I know...not a bill...but actual money back!! Celebrate. Good. Times....HELLZ YEAH!

Meet My Hero

Wish I had thought of it.
Special thanks to Laura for brightening the Wired Lady's day.

Dinner Party Fancy Lady

Last night friends Alex and Will (the next stars of the new untitled lifestyle/cooking web show), invited me over for a BEYOND-fantastic dinner party at their new, hot, trendy, BEAUTIFUL downtown loft. Yes, that's right...loft living -- helloooo, how freakin' cool is that?! Totally jealous.

Dinner was delicious and all food options, I must say, were highly wired-friendly!

With wires, it's not too often I actually feel like an 'adult' -- so, playing 'grown-up' last night was beyond fun! Thanks to Alex and Will!

Wired Expertise

I wear glasses, I have braces, I enjoy coffee and the internet -- yup, you could classify me as "wired."

With so much expertise, of COURSE I was asked to 'consult' on Steve's (the BF) BIG decision to get ... new ... glasses!!!!!! You can image my sheer excitement as Steve's old glasses resembled this guy's....

Now, look at the new Wired Guy....

... although, regularly known as the Nerd with Words

Order a Hamburger Instead!

While spinach salads seem like a good call at the lunch gathering -- stay away!

Wired Lady experienced this firsthand today. I enjoyed a fantastic lunch with a fantastic new friend -- MINUS the mistake of ordering this healthy-'lunchable.' As a Wired Lady with over a year and a half experience, any food that causes one to constantly question where it has landed in the wires, is a baaaaad lunch call. So, learn from my mistake -- for lunch, order a hamburger and fries instead. Forget the calorie count! Order crap and lunch with confidence!

How's that for a diet tip?

The After Effect

Today, the day after the big ortho appointment, a few 'particularities' were remembered. Like ... maybe you should freakin' brush your teeth, Dirty Lady, after lunch?! -- toootally did.

Now, enjoying a lovely glass of Chard (as always ... hellooooo Classy Lady) and some tortilla chips, you can definitely say I'm NOT looking forward to the upcoming flossing session.

Hope you (somewhat) enjoy this blog because...it's not going anyway. Braces to exist in the WL's life ... forever... holla Yamada!

Not Quite the News I Wanted to Hear

Action-packed day at the ortho's office ...

There was some teeth 'sawing' -- some wire 'adjusting' -- and MOST unfortunately, some bandage 'adding.' Yup, that's right. Now, on top of the 'bling' and 'decorations' of my current mouth, I can add to that list a rubber band 'power chain' ... across the front!!!! Gabby, the assistant, tried to calm me by insisting "it's clear" but ... this almost concerns me more -- um .... hello Diet Coke addiction?! That thing will be 100% nasty by 3 PM tomorrow. Won-der-ful!!!

In other news -- OOOOOOH the idea of my braces coming off before Christmas is .... "pushing it!" To clue everyone in ... because the braces were first put on in March of '07, the Doc technically believes her contract to me is until March of '08 (2 years - one year before, and one year after surgery). Sooooo to HER.....FEB. 29th would be GIVING!

Also --- look at this!!!!!

Welp, actually ... thanks to my somewhat lame camera zoom, you probably can't see this too well, but under 'ORAL HYGIENE' - there is a big, red 'X' marking "Missing a few places!"

Oh yes, Wired Lady --slapped on the wrist.

Sooooo none of these were given....


And instead, restocked with my favorite rubber bands -- which...

... are annoyingly EVERYWHERE -- that's right, in every crevice of my bathroom, car, bedroom, kitchen, etc!!!!!! I swear, I will be celebrating my unborn child's high school graduation and still finding these suckers.

Just Like Winning Gold!

This is what I felt like today when I found out insurance paid...for everything!!!!!

Is "Free Fallin'" stuck in your head too? Totally Petty. Totally.

Hello Procrastination

All weekend I was avoiding opening the scary envelopes from the doctor's office. Ugh. Not fun. So, totally, I am proud to say ... I opened the letters and ... I am still alive ... lol.

Mainly because, I told myself ... "Hey, can't do anything till tomorrow morning!" -- ie...calling insurance.

So, one more day of procrastination -- love weekends.

Ortho check-up on Tuesday afternoon. Please start to send good thoughts. Hoping for HAPPY news!!!

A Blast from the Past

Infamous Lorna, the admin lady from Dr. Relle's office, called today. It's been a while since I heard from her. She left a message on my work phone and actually said, "Hi there. Not sure if you remember me but I work at Dr. Relle's office."

Whaaaat? Lorna?! Seriously?! Not sure if I would remember you? Um ... pretty sure I'll remember you on my death bed.

So ... nice to hear Lorna's voice. Not good to hear Lorna's voice when she tells be mother f-iiiiiing Blue Cross is refusing to paaaaaaaaaay.

Fan-freakin'-tastic. Let the battle begin ...

I am breathing. I am breathing. I am calm. How the hell do ya do a GD yoga breath again?! I knew I should have continued that after-work activity.

Morning Reflection

Listerine rules so much more than Crest Pro Health -- riiiiight?

Crest is a little too nice for me. If I'm gonna sip, gargle and spit -- it's gonna have to have a little kick!

Have a great day to all!

Tweet Tweet the Wired Lady!

Hellooooo Braces Community!! Who's on Twitter?! I need friends to follow! Help a girl out and link it up!

Please Forgive Me Father...For I Have Sinned

Last night something HUGE happened in the life of Wired Lady -- I...ran...out of -- dental floss! No, REALLY! I never thought this could possibly happen --- as I have been bulk buying since the beginning of this ortho 'adventure' -- but it happened. Absolutely NONE anywhere in my bathroom. None at the bottom of my purse. Nada inch anywhere inside my many work totes...nothing!

What did this mean? How could I let such an embarassing mistake occur? This doesn't mean I have slacked on my ortho-behaviors, does it? Ahhhhh. Ummm...probably true.

Today - the ortho diet kicked back into shape. I went straight to Ralphs and bought the finest floss my fine Ralphs Card could get me a discount on. Hello Kroger non-name brand! Holla.

I'm back.

Sleepy Braced-Face Lady

SUCH a fun weekend but wedding traveling and wedding dancing and wedding drinking and wedding explaining-my-post-surgery-braced-'situation'-is...exhausting. I am so out of it -- seriously. Can I take a week off to recover? Pretty please.

The G family wedding was GORGEOUS and it was so sweet of so many people to ask how I was feeling. The weird thing is -- it feels like my surgery in March was years and years ago. It's doesn't impact my life at all any more -- only that I have to explain why the braces are still on. That's about it. Oh. And the constant thought pattern of 'Where the hell is the bill gonna arrive?' -- every time I check my mailbox. Fun. Stuff.

Zzzzz.