Saturday, October 13, 2007

Forget the Mall

I used to spend my Shopping Saturdays at Nordstroms, Macys and the Gap. Now I get all excited about shopping at...

RITE AID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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That's right people , props to Rite Aid for having the best dental selection in town. I won't even tell you how many minutes I spent analyzing this aisle today.

I was on a mission - a mission for a high quality toothbrush and floss. I was wooed by fancy words like 'ultra' and 'pulsar.' Rightfully so, I selected the Oral-B Pulsar Pro-Health Toothbrush and Oral-B's Ultra floss. Listen, I will admit, I had a coupon on the floss but even so...I liked the word 'ultra.'

All excited, I creeped my ass through traffic to get home for a well-deserved dental massage.

My review....
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The floss was simple and comfortable, as promised on the box, but the "fluffy material designed to avoid irritation" only caused more trouble that it was worth. It was totally limp! AND I was forced to use....the blue, plastic floss guiders. Ugh! Totally not worth my time. In the end, after all that work threading the damn thing each time, my teeth didn't even feel all that clean. A totally bummer.

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Hell, it's a toothbrush. It cleaned. But seriously, where the hell were the "pivoting and pulsating bristles?" Um...Oral-B, stop seducing us with fancy language. Sure you fooled the Wired Lady into buying your product (damn!) but...I will think twice next time...I will. All in all, it was a nice massage for my gum line but I guess I'm just not a fan of a soft brush. In my mind, pain is glory. Thanks to the comfortable and pretty handle grips, I was persuaded to grade above average.

I hope Rite Aid is nicer to me next time. Oh well...
off to babysit for my favorite pre-teen who already had her braces...removed!


Rachel said...

I just found your blog and I have to tell you it's freaking hilarious. I too am an adult with braces and it sucks!!

Anonymous said...

Hey I'm in Sydney Australia and just found your blog. I also had my braces put on earlier this year. It's been six months and yeah i'm over it!

Anonymous said...

these two are my favorites...
(glide threader floss)
and the gum soft picks

your block cracks me up wired lady. as i see it you gotta either laugh or cry, so much better to laugh!...just had braces (for the second time) and jaw surgery. every 26 year olds dream :)

Wired Lady said...

omg! i gotta hear about your surgery! thanks for the recommendations...I'm totally heading back to Rite Aid!

Liz said...

Hope you can find them! By the way, my lunch time shopping at work went from bluefly and nordstrom to after i got braces! Guess my shopping habits are matching the coolness of my grills. Anyway, i had jaw surgery in August to correct an open bite (LeFort 1 was the procedure). Before surgery only my back two teeth touched causing lots of pressure on my jaw and i had trouble eatting stuff that you need to bite into with your front teeth (pizza, etc...). The surgery went well. I'm gonna be honest, the first few weeks sucked. I only took 2 weeks off work and wish I had taken off 3. My face was soooo swollen after surgery. I mean, I expected to be swollen (duh) but my it was enormous especially day 5. At night I'd go to bed thinking I would be less swollen in the morning and would wake up having grown even bigger.
I had my teeth banded shut about a month and a half--was on liquids the first two weeks(basically thined out jamba juice and chicken broth) and no chew (soup (whole foods deli has the best) and oatmeal) for the next four. Oh, and you can't use a straw after surgery b/c sucking causes pulling on the stitches so they give you a suringe to squirt stuff in for the first couple weeks. (FYI, don't put it in the dishwasher or it will melt--learned that the hard way) I think I lost about 15 lbs or so. Oh, if you mix in a hershey's bar into the oatmeal it tastes pretty good. Melts and kinda tastes like an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie--that was by far my best invention.

I'm about two and a half months now post surgery. Can't wait till the braces come off in December. Let me know if you have any questions...I know I had tons before I had my surgery. :)