Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Universal Sign of OKAY


Yesterday I was desperate to get out of this apartment. Also, I was (I can't believe I am actually saying this) desperate to get some exercise. This, coming from the girl who's notorious for coming up with every excuse not to go to the gym.

So, my big adventure yesterday took me for a walk, a couple blocks away, to my little slice of heaven...aka...DSW Shoe Warehouse.

Now, I love DSW for a number of reasons but especially because there are never any annoying salespeople bugging you. It's a total self-serve establishment. So, with my talking-handicap, I knew this would be a safe stop. Oh. How. I. Was. Wrong. I learned an important lesson from my first daytime escapade -- sales people in the afternoon are bored out of their minds and are dying to help you! Of course, everyone and their mother at DSW was eager to help! Dammit. The one time I actually get customer service, I can't even enjoy it! So, what did I do? That's right, the thumbs up!

"Good afternoon, how can I help you?" = thumbs ups
"Do you need a size in that?" = thumbs ups
"Would you like the discount card?" = thumbs up

At first I thought it was fun being mysterious. Like...maybe they thought I was from some exotic foreign country and couldn't speak the challenging language of...English. But then I thought, they probably just think I'm a retard? (excuse my complete un-P.C.-ness)

Sure enough, I got out of there as quickly as possible with not a shoe in hand. And I even had a coupon!

Thinking I was safe, stepping into my apartment building's lobby, I run into the building handyman with a carpet cleaning machine. For almost two years this man has never said anything more to me than, "Hola!" Of COURSE today he actually said, "How is the carpet on your floor?" What?! How is the carpet? I have no idea. I have never thought twice about the carpet in the hallway on my level. Running into the elevator I did what I only knew I could...I gave the good ol' thumbs up! And...try to throw is a smile, although I'm sure it looked completely creepy. He responded with a look of utter confusion. Great. Any by the way, looking now at the filthy carpet in the hallway, I'm sure it will never be cleaned.


Anonymous said...

Hi Wired Lady. I had my jaw surgery almost 6 weeks ago now and during my recovery I have read just about every orthognathic blog out there just to make sure I was recovering normally. Its good you have such a good attitude toward the whole thing. I tried bromlain and arcina about 2 weeks ago, after reading about it, and my swelling has decreased quite a bit since then. It might have been just the fact I was 4 weeks along or maybe it was actually the herbs. Either way it was better and the herbs only cost me $16. At 6 weeks, I am finally glad I got braces and had the surgery. Hang in gets better.

allison said...

During my first shopping trip while still wired, I went to J.Crew with my mom and sister. Some salesguy asked, "You finding everything okay?" and I sort of nodded in response. My mom, thinking I ignored him, loudly announced, "SHE CAN'T TALK, HER JAW IS WIRED SHUT." That man ran away sooooo fast.