Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Damn Your Health Benefits

Dear Broccoli,

I'm sorry I have to do this to you but our relationship is over.

I used to believe if I ordered you 'extra soft' it would be ok. I used to think of you as a healthy, safe side. I used to think all these things till....today.

Thanks to you, an innocent intern had to sit through an entire lunch with me, with a mouth full of green. It was bad enough this intern has more going on in his life than I do. And it's bad enough trying to 'mentor' with braces but...did you have to go deep into the wires? No hand covering the mouth was going to save this catastrophe.

You are unpredictable, unreliable and just...an embarrassment. I hate to admit it but President George H. W. Bush was right about you. I will be with your friend, The Pea, from this point forward.

In other news....

Tomorrow morning I'm getting up super early to give blood at the hospital for surgery. I'm not at all worried about the actual giving of blood. Heck, I can deal with feeling queezy at work - it might mix things up. What I'm freaked out about is actually driving to the hospital, seeing the hospital, walking into the hospital and yes, even smelling the hospital. Let's hope I don't run in the opposite direction. On the plus side, I do get to meet Daniel, the nicest medical professional to ever use a phone.


Kirsty said...

Poor brocolli, always being outshined by the Pea. :-)

Chris K said...

Try cauliflower. It is to brocolli what clear brackets are to braces!

laura said...

Rice sucks too. Especially the fat brown rices.