Jaws on Pause.

Well, surgery day isn't going quite as smoothly as the Wired Lady had hoped. But really, I'm not surprised.

It all started this morning when the doctor didn't send over the paperwork, so they had to run an EKG. They run the EKG, it turns out I have a murmur and an irregular heartbeat. The Anesthesiologist, who is is clearly more comfortable with people who are sleeping, had some choice words for me. His direct quote, "Your heart is very concerning. We're very concerned. You're only 25 years old, we'd normally expect this in old people."

An hour later, and I'm having an echo heart something or other done to make sure I'm not about to go in for heart surgery instead of jaw surgery. Over the loud, squishy sounds of my own heart, I hear a woman down the hall screaming, "Someone please help me, god dammit!" I'm sure that really helped calm my irregular heartbeat.

What else could go wrong? Well, it took two foreign nurses to find my vein so they could draw blood. I'm still trying to figure out if the nurse called over the PA for someone to bring her ricotta cheese or they narcotics keys. Oh, and did I mention a couple of guys from the morgue stopped by the room across the way to pick up a dead body and wheel it past my room? Could there be any more signs that maybe I should just escape from the hospital in my gown right now, like a mental patient?

After all this, the cardiologist finally found the time to stop by, and let me tell ya ladies, I met the McDreamy of Northridge Hospital. He's bald and German. McGermany came in to tell me my heart is perfectly fine, although I gotta say, not sure why everyone keeps asking if I'm a smoker. And with that, I'm off to surgery. My mother was relieved to be yelling "Yay! You're having jaw surgery!" I never thought I'd be relieved to be having jaw surgery. But it's better than open heart surgery.

I came in at 8 am. My surgery was supposed to start at 10, and it's now 1:30 pm. Just another day in the life of Wired Lady.

PS -- Dr. Relle just came in to tell me that because of my murmuring heart, the operating room is now booked by a man with broken legs. Surgery at 5:30.